The Best T-Shirts

1)  (around a picture of dandelions) I Fought the Lawn and the Lawn Won
2)  So Few Men, So Few Who Can Afford Me
3)  I Suffer Occasional Delusions of Adequacy
4)  God Made Us Sisters, Prozac Made Us Friends
5)  If They Don't Have Chocolate In Heaven, I Ain't Going
6)  At My Age, I've Seen It All, Done It All, Heard It All...
         I Just Can't Remember It All
7)  My Mother Is A Travel Agent For Guilt Trips
8)  I Just Do What The Voices Inside My Head Tell Me To Do
9)  (Worn by a pregnant woman) A Man Did This To Me, Oprah
10)  If It's Called Tourist Season, Why Can't We Hunt Them?
11)  Senior Citizen:  Give Me My Damn Discount
12)  Princess, Having Had Sufficient Experience With Princes, Seeks Frog
13)  No, It Doesn't Hurt (on a "well-tattooed gentleman")
14)  (on the back of a passing motorcyclist) If You Can Read This,
     My Wife Fell Off
15)  I Used To Be Schizophrenic, But We're OK Now
16)  (Over the outline of the state of Minnesota) My Governor Can Beat Up
     Your Governor
17)  Veni, Vedi, Visa: I came. I Saw. I Did a Little Shopping.
18)  What If The Hokey Pokey Is Really What It's All About
19)  I Didn't Climb to the Top of the Food Chain to Be a Vegetarian
20)  (on the Front) Yale Is Just One Big Party (on the back)
     With a $25,000 Cover Charge
21)  Coffee, Chocolate, Men...Some Things Are Just Better Rich
22)  Liberal Arts Major...Will Think For Money
23)  Growing Old is Inevitable; Growing Up is Optional
24)  IRS -- Be Audit You Can Be
25)  Gravity...It's Not Just a Good Idea.  It's the Law.
26)  If You Want Breakfast In Bed, Sleep In the Kitchen
27)  Wanted:  Meaningful Overnight Relationship
28)  The Old Pro...Often Wrong...Never In Doubt
29)  If At First You Don't Succeed, Skydiving Isn't For You
30)  Old Age Comes at a Bad Time
31)  In America, Anyone Can Be President.
     That's One of the Risks You Take.
32)  First Things First, but Not Necessarily in That Order.

This was in the "Bob Levey's Washington" column in the Washington Post.
Every year he compiles and prints the "Best T-shirts of the Summer."

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